I can't get it, mom!

Lately Braxton has a fascination with putting everything he can reach in his mouth. And by everything, I do mean everything. Washcloths, blankets, rattles, fingers, clothes, bibs, etc. You name it...he's tried to taste it.

Last Wednesday, Justin and I were eating dinner and looked over to find Braxton in his bumbo trying as hard as he could to get his foot in his mouth. It was quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen so rather than helping him figure out how to do it, or distract him from his frustration...I grabbed the camera. Isn't that what all good moms do? :-)

Ugh! Almost.... Got it! Ugh! Almost...Got it! Ugh!

What are you looking at?

Oh me? You think I'm cute don't you?!

Yes, I know! I'm just too adorable for my own good!

See? It's true!

This was the puddle of spit up and drool that was on the floor after his failed endeavor!

I Hope You Dance

1999
"No, James! You don't step here. You step there! And then I'm going to go in front of you and twirl. Lisa!! You come in now! Stop missing your entrance!" There I stood in the middle of the living room floor bossing James and Lisa around in my "ice skating routine." Ever since the Winter Olympics of 1998 I had been obsessed with figure skating. I was captivated by how they moved exactly with the music and how everything was done exactly in sync. So I created my own little ice skating rink...minus the ice...and the rink. I turned on Tchakovsky and decided that I was the coach and James and Lisa were my skaters. I made up so many routines in the middle of our living room floor and I looking back, I think we all had a fabulous time (even if Lisa's shoulder got thrown out of socket as I tried to "teach" them a death spiral). Who knew my initial interest in creating "ice skating routines" would play such an integral part in my adult life.

2004
"Why, God???" My soul cried out as the searing pain shot through my right wrist. "I've worked so hard! I've dedicated myself for the last 13 years! My parents have spent so much money on lessons. I'm just starting to show real progress. I love playing piano! Why are you taking it away from me?" So many questions ran through my mind as I searched for the pain killers. "I have a piano scholarship! I have a competition coming up! I have my senior recital! I want to accompany! Why???" I was under strict instructions from my piano teacher that I was no longer to pursue piano with the same aggressive practicing schedule I had before. Which basically meant one thing "take a break." Not doing so would mean more permanent damage to my wrist. But taking a break meant losing a lot of what I had accomplished, as far as technique. I was so angry. Angry that something I couldn't control (pain) was taking one of my greatest joys away from me. Angry that it felt like God was punishing me for my years of faithful practicing and trying to use my music to glorify Him.

Just a couple of days ago I heard someone give this analogy of emotional pain. "When you're right up against a painting, it doesn't make sense. The shapes are distorted and confusing. You might think, that color is ugly. Why is it in there? What's the purpose? But once you take a few steps back, it begins to make sense. You can see how it all works together into a beautiful painting. Such is life." If only I had been able to understand that when I was 17 years old and experiencing my trial. The colors and shapes of what God was taking me through were very ugly (in my eyes) and I couldn't understand them. But He was painting a beautiful picture that I was too close to and couldn't understand.

Fall 2005
I went ahead and painfully did my senior recital. I considered it my grand finale, my last huzzah, my goodbye to piano as I had known it. I took the summer off of playing and entered college ready to take it easy. I missed performing. I missed letting the music soothe my soul. I missed being able to express myself musically. But what could I do? I had an injured wrist so that ruled out any other instrument. I looked down. I still had two perfectly good feet and ankles. And so I enrolled in Intro to Dance my freshman year. "Oh this is going to be epic" I chuckled to myself. "I've always loved to dance, but like I'm any good."

The first day of dance class dawned beautifully. I was nervously excited. "What if I fell flat on my face? What if everyone was better than me?" As the semester progressed I fell more and more in love with dancing. The music, the dance steps, the clothes...ok...not the clothes, I mean, nobody looks good in a leotard... but whatever...it can't all be good.

I kept dancing throughout the rest of college. I took every single dance class I could without becoming a ballet major. By my junior year I was holding my own against ballet majors in a tap/jazz class. And by God's grace, my hard practicing and one-on-one help from my good friend, Ivy, I received an A from one of the hardest dance teacher in the city. I had found my new passion. In my mind, I was no longer a pianist. I was a dancer. No, I wasn't as good as "real "dancers, but dance was where my heart was now. Sorry, piano. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy playing, but it's just not the same.

May 2007
"Mom, I think I want to become a dance teacher." I finally admitted. "I really really love dancing, and I want to share that with other people." One major roadblock stood between me and my desire to teach: I wasn't anywhere near good enough to teach at a real school of dance. I didn't have the dance degrees and I didn't have a long enough history in dance. In my mind that didn't matter. I had the passion and the desire to uncover that in others. Wasn't that all that mattered? I decided I would keep my eyes open for a smaller, preferably Christian dance studio that might be willing to let an underdog dancer intern for a while. But I was getting married in two months and didn't have time to actually look. So that went on the back burner.

August 2007
I was beginning my junior year of college and my first year as a full-time Music Theater major. I can still remember this moment very clearly. I was sitting in drama class and my phone rang. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail. I forgot about it until later in the day and when I listened to the message, I couldn't believe what I heard, "Hi Laura, this is the dance teacher from Central Homeschool Family Ministries. I was wondering if you would be interested in taking over my position and my tap and ballet classes starting in September. Call me back!" WOULD I???? I squealed with delight and then I started crying. God had answered my prayer so perfectly! Not only would I be teaching in a Christian place, but a homeschool place!! It was a beginning class so it wouldn't be anything out of my league, and I was actually going to be teaching it...not just interning! I couldn't have been happier!

CHFM has been an incredible blessing. Each year has made me grow more as a teacher, more as a dancer and more as a person. The 12 weeks of pure mania leading up to the final program night always kept us on our toes. Our time was limited, but we had fun.

Spring 2008
"I think God wants me to start a Christian Theater here in Wichita" I admitted to my husband at dinner one night. Theater is something we are both interested in and he whole-heartedly agreed with me. We bother knew it would be a lot of work, but something that we both wanted. So I began to pull from some of my friends at school to see if they would be interested in helping me get something started. We all agreed it was a fantastic idea, but now was not the right time. Maybe next year. So it got pushed to the back burner as I finished school.

Fall 2008
It was about two weeks after our CHFM fall performance where my girls had performed Once Upon a December and Singing in the Rain. A mom from CHFM gave me call. I didn't recognize the number so I let it go to voicemail (do we see a theme here??). When I listened to my voicemail I couldn't believe what I heard, "Hi Laura. This is Sarah from CHFM. We're trying to start a Christian Youth Theater here in Wichita and we were wondering if you would be interested in choreographing for us? Call me back!" WOULD I???? Once again I squealed with delight and then started crying. Once again. God had answered my prayer more perfectly than I could've ever imagined.

Over the next year, Justin and I would both serve on the steering committee to bring Christian Youth Theater to Wichita. Justin still serves on the board for CYT, but I've now transitioned off the board and into the role of choreographer. I choreographed the July 2009 summer camp, the fall show Robin Hood and am in the process of choreographing Charlie Brown for our winter production. What a blessing this has been in my life!

November 20, 2009
So why am I sharing this insanely long blog post with you all? Well, last night was the fall performance for my dance classes at CHFM. It was my last program with them. With Braxton here now and our impending move to Colorado Springs I've been needing to start stepping down from some of my many responsibilities. My heart was breaking last night as I hugged my precious girls goodbye. On the way home I began reflecting on my journey to become a dance teacher and started writing. Thus we have this insanely long blog post.

Here are a few of the words to my favorite song "I Hope You Dance" by LeeAnn Womack. Yes, you will hear this song if you call my phone. :-)

"Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance"

God closed the door to my piano dreams, but He opened one that held more blessings than I could've imagined! I could've sat on the sidelines and sulked about my injury and remained angry at God and myself but instead...I danced. And dancing has brought joy to my life, my husband, my family, my baby (yes! he giggles like a little girl when I twirl with him in the living room!), and most of all, I believe it brings joy to God. I've always firmly believed that dance should be used to ultimately point to the One who created dance and created us to dance.

One of the first pieces I taught my girls was the song "How Great is Our God." Dancing makes me just want to spin with my arms wide open and look toward heaven as my soul cries out with amazement "How Great is Our God?!" His ways are so much higher and greater than my own feeble dreams. These are just a few of the things I would've missed if He hadn't given me tendonitis.
~ I never would've had the opportunity to teach and be taught by my precious dancers at CHFM.
~ I would've never become known to dozens of people throughout Wichita as "Miss Laura"
~ I never would've had the opportunity to help start CYT and get to choreograph to super fun music.
~ I never would've learned about a whole creative side of me I never knew I had.
~ I never would've met many of the people I know. One of whom is a very dear and close friend (Hi Ivy!).
~ I never would've learned the lessons in self-control, patience, deference, humility, and giving grace that teaching has taught me.
~ But most of all, I never would've learned how to use dance to bring joy to my life and most importantly, to praise God.

From a little girl who was trying to recreate ice skating routines to a choreographer for Christian Youth Theater. My story, is a long one. My journey was sometimes hard and painful. But standing back and looking at the painting of my life so far...it is beautiful. God knew what He was doing all along. No surprise there. :-)

Here are some pictures from last night's performance. The two classes performed together in my ballet piece Cinderella and I danced a solo near the end. As soon as I had video I will try to put it up on youtube so you all can see it. The piece was so heartwarming and touching as the girls danced with their dads during the chorus. And it was extra special because I got to dance with my dad at the end. Goes to show you're never too old to dance with your daddy!

The little fishies also known as my K-2 tap and ballet class dance their little fins off to "Under the Sea"

This was my favorite part of the whole dance. ;-)

The 3-5 grade tap class performed a hard core tap drill. It was awesome!

We had a real live fairytale as the little fishies transformed into beautiful princess for the father/daughter dance "Cinderella"

K-2 grade class dads dancing with their little cinderellas.

The 3-5 grade hard core tappers transformed into lovely princesses for their part of "Cinderella"

The 3-5 grade class dads dance with their cinderellas

And out I twirl for my solo as the princess getting married.

In the middle of my solo, one of my littlest dancers ran out with my wedding veil. The veil was almost twice as tall as she was but she did beautifully!

"I need to practice my dancing. Oh please. Daddy, please"

Dancing with my dad (thank you mr. microphone for ruining this touching picture)

Everyone joined us for the last chorus
"So I will dance with Cinderella, while she is here in my arms. Cause I know something the prince never knew. I will dance with Cinderella I don't want to miss even one song. Cause all too soon, the clock will strike midnight...and she'll be gone."

Both of my classes and their dads for the bow! Bravo to all!

Aside from touching lives and making a difference, this is the best part of being a teacher...FLOWERS!

I love flowers!! Thank you classes!

Count Your Blessings Name Them One by One

This has become a very important part of my day the last few days. I've noticed as of late I'm turning into the kind of person where one thing goes wrong and my whole day is ruined. Whether it be something as simple as burning dinner or something as major as losing a check, my day was shot. How ridiculous is that? I've become so convicted over how my bad attitude about one or two things that went wrong totally disregarded all of the blessings God had given me that day. Soooooo...I started a mission. Every day I was going to write down my blessings. Not just think about them. I was going to physically write them down. Then beside my list of blessings I was going to write down the things that went wrong. No big surprise here, but my list of things that went wrong is always significantly shorter than my list of blessings.

Now here's the funny part. I hadn't told anyone about my new goal. It was an inner attitude issue that I was resolved to work on and was going to leave it between me and God. Well, yesterday was the last day of dance class and as tradition would have it, I usually receive a fabulous array of teacher's gifts. Most of the time these are deliciously fattening brownies, cookies, hot drink mixes and other tasty treats, but one of my dancers gave me a journal. I opened the front of it and it read:
"Dear Mrs. Laura. This is a journal to write down all your blessings in. Thank you for being such a fun dance teacher!"
I had to read the inscription twice to really let it sink in that two days after I made this private commitment, my student gave me a book to record my blessings! What a precious gift and what a perfect time to receive it!

I was so excited to share this with Justin! I would encourage each of you to take a few minutes every day, whether at the end of your Bible time, before you go to bed, or just randomly throughout the day to count your blessings. Name them one by one and thank the Lord for them.

And of course...here are two of my favorite blessings that I can't thank God enough for. :-)

Oh look! Something Shiny!

If you all look at our family picture, you might notice something new, exciting and different on me. (STOP LOOKING FOR THE BABY BUMP....that's just leftover fat from the pregnancy!!) I was referring to the lovely, long necklace I'm wearing. Anyone who has known me for long period of time knows that jewelry has never really been my thing...in fact, accessories in general have never really been my thing. Well, now jewelry and training women how to accesorize is my new "career" (I use the term career very loosely because it's so easy :-)).

For the last month, I've been honing my skills as a independent consultant for Premier Jewelry. Premier is a Biblically based company that and their consultant position is geared specifically to work well for a stay at home mom. They have been around since 1985 and offer an incredible line of high fashion jewelry. I am having so much fun doing the home shows and getting to meet new people and overcome old fears (like carrying on business phone conversations...yikes!!). Plus while I'm still far from being a master of accessories, now I at least feel like I can throw on a necklace, earrings, and dare I say...maybe even a bracelet without having a panic attack! My how times are changing!

So why am I sharing all this? Mainly because I've been working on stuff for my mini-company all afternoon and I'm really excited about it. Two, I want to share my excitement and the way God has been answering prayers with all of you! We began praying in July/August that God would provide a way for me to be able to stay home more with Braxton, but still bring in a little bit of extra income for our savings. It has been incredible to see how God brought this opportunity right when we needed it most; the way He has answered my prayers for filling shows on specific dates; even the exact number of shows He has provided for me (I prayed for 9...I currently have 9 shows booked on my calendar!).

It reminds me of the verse in Matthew: "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! (Matthew 7:11) While I've always loved giving gifts, I understand the idea of giving a good gift to your child a little better now. You don't just want to give them something that will be mindless entertainment for them. You want to give them a gift that will be fun for them and have positive long-term benefits (like helping them build their skills). I am so thankful to God for giving us this opportunity. I am loving my gift and I believe it will have positive benefits for both our bank account and my own personal abilities.

Welcome back camera!

Between being busy with rehearsals, a brother coming home, and a teething baby, I obviously haven't had much time for blogging. But my other excuse is that my camera died right in the middle of our halloween party and I just now got it recharged! Busy, no? Busy yes! So below you will find a myriad of pictures from October which are long overdue for posting!

Enjoy!

New Toys, New Foods, New Attitudes, and New Bad Habits

One day while playing over at Grandma's house, Braxton discovered the amazing toy known as the exersaucer. Grandma was planning to buy one for Braxton for Christmas, but this one had to temporarily come home with us because he loved it so much!

This toy on the exersaucer was his favorite for a while

First time trying rice cereal! Funny story. So when I was at the store trying to decide which cereal to buy, I decided I was going to be a good mama and buy him the whole wheat cereal instead of the rice cereal. It had to be better for him, right? Well, thank goodness for grandmas who scream "NOOOOOOO" when you tell them just how great of a mom you are for "starting your baby out right." Apparently whole wheat cereal can majorly mess up the stomachs because its a two grain cereal and you have to start them on single grain. Who knew? Not me! So I dashed to Leekers and picked up single grain rice cereal and that is what you see pictured here.

He wasn't quite sure what to think of it!

Let me try it again...hmmmmm...nope still not sure!

So we decided to let daddy try to feed him. Worked like a charm!

We found him like this when he was playing in his boppy. Gotta love the hands in his pockets! Not to mention the "what up dawg!" expression!

And here is his bad habit. We are trying to nix the thumb sucking, but its so stinkin' adorable!

Frozen toes, Frozen nose, Warm memories!

In early October, CYT participated in Maize's annual fall festival. Several of the actors from our production of Robin Hood marched in the parade and we did a sneak peek of the show later in the afternoon. When we were told we were going to participate in a fall festival we all expected cool, but comfortable, weather, gorgeous leaves, warm apple cider, and a day full of fun outside activities. Nobody expected the high to be a whopping 34 degrees that day, or the air to be so frigid that it hurt to breathe while walking, or that we would enjoy the day from the comfort of our car, not the outside. Nobody expected that it would actually get colder as the day progressed (thanks to the wonderful KS wind!) and nobody expected that it would be so miserable outside that they would shut down the festival at 3:00 pm. And I was so looking forward to the ice cream social at 4:30!! Still, even through the unexpected weather and frozen fingers, I had a wonderful time! I always think some of the best memories come from days like this! ;-)

All bundled up at 8:00 am heading to the parade! Who knew this would be the warmest time of the day?

Braxton was still fast asleep!

Lining up for the parade. Next year, I want to figure out how I can get to ride in this chair for the parade instead of walking! Although, this year the walking actually kept me a little bit warmer. :-)

All bundled up, waiting for the parade to start!

This is quite possibly my favorite picture of the entire event! One of our youngest "townskids" desperately trying to stay warm.

My friend, Erin (our music director) and I trying to pass the time. She was smart and brought a hat, scarf and gloves. I was so busy making sure my baby had 25 layers of clothing that I forgot to grab things for myself!

See? He was so cozy that he slept through the entire parade in complete comfort. If you put your face near his you could feel the heat radiating from inside the carrier. Lucky! :-)

My stroller basket somehow became the communal carrier for extra layers, banners, swords, etc. Thanks guys. I really needed 20 more lbs to push 1.5 miles! :-)

Hi Ho!

All done with the parade! Now can we hibernate in a warm cave for the next 4 hours until the sneak peek?

We decided at first to hibernate in the warm car. But then decided to move to Panera for warm soup to thaw ourselves from the inside out! :-) I love how Braxton's like "what are you guys complaining about? I didn't feel a thing?"

At Panera, I ran into two of my best friends from high school. Boo and Gus Hock!! I hadn't seen them in years! We actually wound up sitting at the table right next to them and got to catch up a little bit. It was so fun running into them and getting to introduce them to Boo's "namesake" Braxton-Boo! :-)

Thanks Goodness!!! The sneak-peek was supposed to be outside, but since it was so stinkin' cold they opened up the community center. Here's some of the cast singing "We Lead a Merry Little Life".

Lisa singing in her trio with Beth and Friar Tuck

And pose!

"High Adventure"

I had so much fun that day!! Although next year my vote will go to the Valley Center Fall Festival since it's held several weeks earlier! :-) Maybe then we can have the warm apple cider, beautiful fall leaves, and cool but comfortable weather!

Welcome Home Uncle Jimmy!!

James got home from training in GA in early October. He's already gone again...headed up to Alaska! We had a wonderful time with him being home...which kind of surprised me! When he got off the plane, I wasn't really sure what to expect. We didn't exactly part on good terms in April and hadn't had much communication while he was away. I was nervous about his stay. The first week of transition was a little difficult on all ends, I think. We fought, I called him out on some stuff, he called me out on some stuff. But what siblings don't fight, right? By the end of the visit we were having a blast! I finally felt like I got to reconnect with my old brother, the real brother. At our Halloween party, I felt like we were the old group of siblings again! I am SO excited for what the future has in store for him! I miss you, little bubba! Say hi to Sarah Palin for me!

James's "I'm a big, brave soldier saving the world" pose!
Stephen's "Dude! Do you have any idea what time it is?" pose! (it was like 12:30am!!)
Lisa's "Do you realize I have to be at rehearsal in 7 short hours" pose! I was doing the same face...just behind the camera. lol!

I spend all afternoon making this onesie for Braxton. Then at rehearsal right before we left for the airport, he drooled so much, the red sharpie smeared everywhere! Including all over MY shirt (I had him in the baby carrier)! Oh well. It's the thought that counts, right? It was so late, I forgot to take a picture of the back, but it had a big Army star on it and it said HooAh!

Johnny trying on James's hat

Braxton chilling with Uncle Stephen in the baggage claim. He absolutely loves Uncle Stephen! Its kind of funny the way he is nothing but smiles and giggles when he sees him!

All bundled up and ready to go home in the frigid early early morning air (it was nearing 1am by the time we left the airport!)